I’ll be honest. My husband I have had problems since the beginning. The frightening thing is that was 21 years ago. In some ways it is easier. I don’t have the fantasy of that perfect life partner. I am perfectly happy to connect emotionally with my friends instead. According to my therapist who I go to weekly, I am well adjusted and have a good life. I just have a bad realtionship. Ugh! His idea of a relationship is getting along. We have nice chit chat and he wants to keep it that way. Until he is cranky and gets a little mean and then I am supposed to forget it immediately as it it never happened. Reality? I think not. What we have now is the bare minimum of any relating at all!

And then there is the financial piece. I live in California and community property is very cut and dry. He will get half and I will struggle to live on half. That is a bitter pill considering the successful business we have was my brainchild and I have been working at it for 9 years. He on the other hand has had several failed ventures and wants to retire.

I woke up a couple of weeks ago and realized I can’t do this for another 30 years. My 50th birthday is Wed. Initially when I told him my feelings he says flippantly “we should get a divorce then”. Maybe we should.

I guess you know when you know…